Kindle Uprooted Hey You there Please listen On May th this book will be released on that day go to this page or this page o
Kindle Uprooted Hey! You there! Please listen. On May 19th this book will be released - on that day go to this page or this page or another retailer of your choice and download the free sample of this book. If, by the end of that small sample, you are not convinced that this book is amazing, never think of it again. BUT, I sincerely doubt that will be the case.Because it took me ONE CHAPTER - well, a few pages really - to make me realize that this book was going to steal every bit of my spare time until I'd devoured it all. And it did. It was magical, surprising, incredibly well-written, and so very funny. And not funny in a Terry Pratchett comedy/fantasy kind of way, but just funny because these characters are so real and charming.There are those well-drawn, vivid books that have great world-building, beautiful descriptions without being overly descriptive, and get lauded by critics. Then there are those books that are delicious chocolate-ice-cream-with-sprinkles pieces of entertainment that drag you in and just provide so much enjoyment. Uprooted is a rare beast - because it's both.It's just so goddamn charming. It's exciting and creepy with regards to the plot and world, but it's made especially wonderful because of the character dynamics. Agnieszka and the Dragon are hilarious together - they operate with a kind of love/hate dynamic that makes for some really funny scenes and some heart-warming ones.What a magical, though strangely honest and thoughtful book. I'm avoiding saying too much about the story because the blurb is deliberately vague for a reason, but I will give you a little something. Uprooted opens in a village where once every ten years, the Dragon (actually a man and wizard who rules over the land) comes and picks a seventeen year-old girl from the village and takes her to his palace. Nobody knows what happens to them, but they are not seen for the next ten years and they always come back changed. It made me smile because it sounds a little like the premise for Cruel Beauty (which I loved) and A Court of Thorns and Roses (which I didn't love), but it's better and different than either of those. There's a touch of the romantic (and the heart-poundingly sexy), but Novik is both a tease and someone not concerned about being PG - which made the book infinitely better on that front than either of the other two mentioned. Also, one of my favourite things was the creepy Wood - a literally evil forest that is alive with a dark corruption that will claim you if you ever enter it, or get touched by one of the monstrous beings that come out of the Wood. How weird and creative and scary... I LOVED it.No one went into the Wood and came out again, at least not whole and themselves. Sometimes they came out blind and screaming, sometimes they came out twisted and so misshapen they couldn’t be recognized; and worst of all sometimes they came out with their own faces but murder behind them, something gone dreadfully wrong within.I can't praise this book highly enough. I'm desperately trying to string together the right combination of words to make other people pick this up. I just hope I've been successful, because it was truly a magical, entertaining experience.Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr. Uprooted is Kindle A fantastical Beauty and the Beast type tale widely accessible and sure to appeal to a broad audience of all ages.Legions of fans around the world have fallen in love with the brilliantly imagined, compulsively readable novels of Naomi Novik Now, in this magnificent new standalone, Novik pens a bold fantasy with all the charm and wonder of a dark fairy tale for the modernA fantastical Beauty and the Beast type tale widely accessible and sure to appeal to a broad audience of all ages.Legions of fans around the world have fallen in love with the brilliantly imagined, compulsively readable novels of Naomi Novik Now, in this magnificent new standalone, Novik pens a bold fantasy with all the charm and wonder of a dark fairy tale for the modern age.. An avid reader of fantasy literature since age six, when she first made her way through The Lord of the Rings, Naomi Novik is also a history buff with a particular interest in the Napoleonic era and a fondness for the work of Patrick O Brian and Jane Austen She studied English literature at Brown University, and did graduate work in computer science at Columbia University before leaving to participate in the design and development of the computer game Neverwinter Nights Shadow of Undrentide Over the course of a brief winter sojourn spent working on the game in Edmonton, Canada accompanied by a truly alarming coat that now lives brooding in the depths of her closet , she realized she preferred writing to programming, and on returning to New York, decided to try her hand at novels.Naomi lives in New York City with her husband and six computers Her website is at naominovik. A viral Ebook Uprooted OH MY GOD A DRAGON. A TERRIBLE DRAGON WHO KIDNAPS A VILLAGE'S BEAUTIFUL YOUNG GIRLS. DO THEY GET EATEN?! DO THEY GET TORTURED?!!! WHAT IS THEIR TERRIBLE FATE?!“They forget how to live here...[they] remember to be afraid,” my father said. That was all. Then they took their dowry-silver and left. Mostly they would go to Kralia and go to the University. Often as not they married some city man, and otherwise they became scholars or shopkeepers.Are you fucking kidding me? *seethes*I swear to god I'm the only one in the world who didn't think this book is THE BESTEST MOST SPECIALEST WONDERFULEST BOOK EVER. For god's sake, Emily May loved it, and I highly respect her opinion, but this book is one case where we will have to agree to disagree.Frankly, I have no idea why everyone loved this book and thought it was so wonderful. The main character is every bit of a Speshul Snowflake Mary Sue. The "Dragon" (so very disappointing) is an asshole of the Fever sort, the kind I deem Jericho-Fucking-Barrons, a term used to describe an asshole who is an asshole only for the sake of being an asshole. He's grumpy, he's grouchy, he is a huge fucking condescending thundercunt of a douchebag just for the plain old reason that he wants to be one.He was irritated with me every time I came into his library, even on the few days that I managed to keep myself in good order: as though I were coming to annoy and interrupt him, instead of him tormenting and using me. And when he had finished working his magic through me and left me crumpled on the floor, he would scowl down at me and call me useless.Let's get one thing straight. I like assholes (sometimes), but they have to have character. For example, Dr. House. He is filled with snark. He is a jerk. He's oftentimes despicable, but there's a spark in him, a humanity in him that lets me love him and appreciate him no matter what despicable things that comes out of his mouth, because, under it all (and you seriously have to look deep), he is a human being with a good purpose, no matter how harsh his methods.Once again, I like assholes. I like anti-heroes, but they have to self-redeeming. The "Dragon" in this book is none such.Ok, back to the plot. It sucked. I didn't really read the synopsis, but I know there was a dragon who kidnapped girls in it. Surely a terrible fate, right?! EEEEEEEEEEHHHN. Wrong. Look at the quote at the beginning of my review. Essentially the girls are "kidnapped" by said "Dragon" (keep in mind I used quotation marks around dragon), they're educated, they become well-read, and they want to spread their wings. They're given shit tons of money to make a better life for themselves.Terrifying. Absolutely fucking terrifying. I'm quivering in my boots.The world building is your standard generic fantasy fare. Monsters. Kings. Princes. But the magic. The fucking magic, man.It just highlights what a special freaking snowflake the main character is. There is nothing to catch the imagination. If I shouted out "Merde!!!!" and butterflies burst into the air and a rainbow forms at my feet, it would essentially be as magical as the shit in this book.I whispered, “Kalikual.”The power rushed out of me.Foreign words!!!! So magical!!!one!1The main character, Agnieszka, is seriously nothing new. You have read countless incarnations of her in every shitty YA book ever written because she's a special, special girl who doesn't know how special she is. She's just so ordinary and adorably clumsy and plain, y'all! The Dragon always, always takes the most special girl!The Dragon didn’t always take the prettiest girl, but he always took the most special one, somehow.:| <- this is my surprised face.And Ag-noying (my new name for her) is just so...so...ordinary!At seventeen I was still a too-skinny colt of a girl with big feet and tangled dirt-brown hair, and my only gift, if you could call it that, was I would tear or stain or lose anything put on me between the hours of one day.You don't say!But of course, there's more to Ag-noying than meets the eye, why, she's got magical power that's just waiting to burst from her like a rose from a fermenting pile of steaming poop.My strength welled up through my body and fountained out of my mouth, and where it left me, a trembling in the air began and went curling down around my body in a spiraling path.Yeah, yeah. I've read this shit before, and I say no, thank you. I like my main characters average, thank you very much. I like my "Dragons" with humanity.1 star is a bit harsh, but for all the hype, this book let me down tremendously.